Communicating your needs

Being able to confidently communicate your needs is as important as any physical skill. Clear and effective communication enables you to decide who helps you and when they help.

This isn’t a skills guide. It’s a way to help you ask for help when it’s needed and say no when it’s not.

What you’ll learn:

• Asking for help and explaining what you need help with
• Politely declining help when it isn’t needed or wanted
• Making confident choices and decisions for yourself

What you need to know about communicating your needs

We all need support sometimes, but we want to be in control of who helps us and how they help us. 

As a wheelchair user, learning to communicate your needs clearly means you can:

• Take control of your own safety and comfort
• Build stronger, more respectful relationships with the people who help you
• Gain confidence in speaking up for yourself in different situations
• Tell people what help you want and when you want it
• Avoid embarrassing situations where unwanted help is provided

As well as being able to ask for help, good communication also means being able to say no.

Saying no when you don’t need help isn’t rude. Clear communication can help you establish your independence.

Recognising your own ability

It’s important to understand what you can do on your own and where you might need support.

• Identify your strengths and the things you can do independently
• Know your limitations. Everyone has them, whether they use a wheelchair or not 
• Think creatively about how you can complete tasks in ways that work for you

Being aware of your own ability helps you communicate clearly, because you’ll know exactly when and how to ask for help – and when to say no.

Asking for help and communicating your needs

There’s absolutely no shame in asking for help. The key is to do it confidently and clearly, in a way that ensures you stay in control. 

Here are a few pointers to help you in communicating your needs from our experts:

1. Clearly explain what help you’d like
2. Look people in the eyes and explain slowly and clearly in ways they can understand
3. If it’s easier, demonstrate how you’d like the person to help you
4. Guide and correct them if necessary
5. Stay in control and be patient 
6. You can politely stop someone if what they’re doing isn’t helpful or feels unsafe

Always try and find someone to help you who is able and willing to listen first and act second.

Saying no to help when it isn’t needed

Being independent means being able to say “no, thank you” when you don’t need it. 

You may not wish to hurt someone’s feelings, but your needs come first. Try to be polite and assertive:

• Thank the person for offering help
• Explain that you’re confident doing it yourself
• If necessary, let them know when you will ask for help

Being able to say what help you need – and saying no when you don’t – is a sign of confidence and self-awareness.